So you’re thinking of starting coaching, but how do you find the right one for you? If you’re a first-timer to coaching this is a very important process, and I’m not going to lie, it’s a bit of a minefield. For the past 20 years (or maybe even more), the coaching industry has grown like crazy and now coaches are a dime a dozen! To make it even more confusing you have different kinds of coaches: life coach, business coach, relationship coach, empowerment coach, career coach, Executive coach… As well as people who proclaim themselves coaches without really being one. Just writing this list makes me chuckle because it goes to show how nebulous the term is. How on earth will you find the right coach in this haystack?
Finding the right coach
Congratulations! You’re ready to start, and now comes the tricky part: finding the right coach for you. It’s a bit like finding the right therapist or person you want to date. It has to be a match for you, and only you. Think about it: this person is about to accompany you for 6-8 weeks maybe longer, so you need to feel that you can trust them and are going to enjoy the process.
First, make sure you’re clear on what coaching is and what it isn’t: it is not therapy, nor problem-solving on steroids. Be sure to do your research beforehand, nowadays ChatGPT can summarize it for you without you needing to get to the 5th page of Google search results. Be sure to use your own judgement when considering whether coaching is for you or not, and when you’re short-listing people.
Coaching is a fantastic tool for self-development, and it’s great you’ve chosen to go down this path.
Questions to ask yourself:
- What type of coaching are you looking for? Is it more business coaching or life coaching? (or other)
- Start searching for people in that category since they will be more tailored to your needs
- What topic(s) do you want to explore?
- What do you hope to gain from coaching?
- Do you prefer a male or female coach? Or someone non-binary and/or from the LGBTQI+ space who can better relate to you?
- This could also relate to having a coach of the same racial and/or cultural background
- What sort of coach do you want? i.e. someone who will give you homework, drive accountability and be “firm”? Or someone who will be a really good listener and gently hold the space for you?
- This will give you a better idea of what kind of person you’re looking for especially when you have introductory calls
- Likewise: think about what sort of language resonates with you. Are you ok with esoteric, conceptual? Or do you need something that’s more facts and evidence based? There is something for everyone…
- How important is it for you to know this person’s background as it relates to their credibility?
- Meaning, if they sound like they are a bit superficial or sharing very surface level information without much depth, does this bother you? (it might seem like they’re churning stuff out from the internet without having the actual knowledge, or proclaim they coach when they only advise friends…)
- Do you need to know what they’ve been through (vaguely) to believe they can help you? You will see coaches online sharing snippets of their lives or experiences that adds to their credibility as you can see they’ve “done the work” themselves
- How did you find out about this person i.e. were they referred to you by a friend, or through word of mouth? Through Google? From a directory?
- How do you want to feel around this person? What are some key attributes that will make you feel comfortable and safe?
- What behaviours do you want to see from this kind of person? This may be a bit abstract but can help you consider whether or not they’re a match
Questions to ask of your coach:
- What is their area of expertise/specialization? Most people will have a clear niche and/or preference.
- What is their experience and their credentials? You don’t necessarily have to ask for credentials (this is a personal opinion) but experience is important. How long have they been doing it for? How many people have they coached?
- If you ask for credentials, be sure to check the organization to see if it’s reputable (i.e. not a made up school)
- It’s also ok to give beginner coaches (like me) a chance since we all need to start somewhere. Understand what stage of their journey they’re in, what they offer and how much transparency they share about it
- Do they have any references or client testimonials they can share – or readily available on their website?
- Do they offer a free introductory session so you can get to know them?
- How do they like to work? You can ask them directly or you can get a feeling for it through your interactions
- What other experience do they have? For example, some people have also studied psychology or may have taken other complementary courses that could be relevant to what you want to address
- What is their coaching style? E.g. do they like to give homework, do they adapt to you, are they more gently encouraging…
Most importantly in this process: trust your instincts. Try not to overthink or over rationalize the process, rather trust what you are feeling and sensing. Do you like this person and take to them immediately, or are you unsure? Also, be aware that you can cancel and step away from the process at any time.
Of course, cancellation policies exist because at the end of the day this is also a person’s job. But much like with a therapist, if you are not feeling it any longer, if it doesn’t feel quite right, or you’re uncomfortable: do not be afraid to leave or end the relationship. This is a human centered business and it’s only normal that sometimes things won’t be a match. You might even outgrow someone, or feel the need to find a different kind of coach because you’re in a different phase of life. That’s also ok.
I hope this has helped you, and good luck on finding the right coach for you! If you’ve already had a coach let me know: how did you find them and what helped you in picking them?
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